You’ve just walked out of your child’s IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting. Maybe you feel relieved, overwhelmed, exhausted—or all of the above. Whether it was your first meeting or your tenth, the moments after an IEP meeting often leave autism moms wondering: What now?
First and foremost………….jump for joy! Celebrate that you put in the work and helped advocate for your child to get them the supports they need to succeed in school (and at home).
This guide is here to walk you through what to expect after the IEP meeting, what your next steps should be, and how to continue advocating calmly and effectively for your child. As an autism mom myself who has been through IEP meetings for over 10 years, I know how emotional and confusing this process can be. Let’s take the guesswork out of what comes next.
1. Understand That the IEP Process Doesn’t End When the Meeting Does
Many parents believe the IEP meeting is the finish line. In reality, it’s just a checkpoint in a much longer journey. The plan that was agreed upon in the meeting now needs to be put into action by the school team. That means services, accommodations, and supports should begin as outlined in the IEP—usually within a few days to a couple of weeks after the meeting.
What should happen:
- The school staff should begin implementing the new or revised IEP.
- You should receive a finalized, signed copy of the IEP.
- Service providers (speech therapists, occupational therapists, special ed teachers, etc.) should begin their work per the plan.
Tip:
If you don’t receive a copy of the updated IEP within a week, follow up with your case manager or special education coordinator.
2. Review the Final IEP Document Carefully
Even if you took detailed notes during the meeting, the official IEP document is what the school is legally bound to follow. This is why it’s so important to thoroughly review it once you receive the final version.
Look for:
- Accurate reflection of what was discussed and agreed upon
- Clear goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound)
- Services listed with frequency, duration, and who will provide them
- Accommodations or modifications listed for classroom and testing environments
- Behavior Intervention Plans or transition goals (if applicable)
What to do if something looks off:
- Politely email the case manager and ask for clarification or changes.
- Remember, you have the right to request another meeting or submit a written statement to be added to the IEP if needed.
3. Begin Tracking and Monitoring Services
Once services begin, it’s important to keep track of what your child is actually receiving. As autism moms, we often have to wear the hat of detective and advocate. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or check in regularly. Both with the team AND your child.
Ways to monitor:
- Ask for service logs or updates from therapists and specialists
- Keep a simple IEP tracker or journal at home
- Check your child’s daily communication folder or online portal (if used)
Red flags to watch for:
- Missed services without explanation
- Lack of communication from service providers
- No noticeable changes in your child’s school experience
If something feels off, trust your gut and reach out to the team.
🎯 You are your child’s best advocate — and I’m here to support you!
I know how overwhelming IEP meetings can be, so I put together a free resource for you:
The Autism Moms’ Guide to the IEP Process
Inside, you’ll find simple steps to feel prepared, confident, and calm.
💛 You’re not alone. Grab it now and walk into your next meeting feeling empowered!
4. Stay Connected with Your Child’s Teachers
Open communication is key. Teachers are the ones seeing your child in action every day. Establish a partnership based on mutual respect and the shared goal of helping your child thrive.
Tips for communication:
- Send a friendly email introducing yourself and offering to collaborate
- Ask what communication method they prefer (email, notes, portal, etc.)
- Don’t wait until there’s a problem—check in regularly with a positive tone
Sample email:
Hi Mrs. Smith,
Thank you for all you’re doing for my son this year. I wanted to touch base now that the new IEP is in place. I’m happy to support from home however I can, and I’d love to keep communication open. Please let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like to share or if I can be helpful in any way.
Warmly,
[Your Name]
5. Support Your Child Emotionally
The IEP meeting may be over, but your child might still be adjusting to new routines, services, or people. Some kids love the support and attention, while others struggle with change. Either way, transitions take time. One thing that still continues to this day, even at 17, is I always bring his fidget with me at pickup. When he was in elementary school it was a stick, Junior High through High School now it’s his football. His release and comfort starts right away when he sees me.
Ways to support your child:
- Talk to them in simple terms about any changes (“You’ll be seeing Ms. Amy for speech on Tuesdays now!”)
- Celebrate small wins
- Help them develop self-advocacy by talking about their needs and feelings
Remember, even if your child is non-speaking or has limited language, they are still processing what’s happening. Your calm, steady presence helps more than you know.
6. Follow Up with the Team at 30 Days
Many parents don’t realize that you can—and should—follow up about IEP progress even if there’s no scheduled meeting. A great rule of thumb is to check in around the 30-day mark after a new IEP is put into place.
Ask questions like:
- Are services happening as scheduled?
- How is my child responding?
- Are any accommodations working particularly well (or not)?
- Have you noticed any new areas of concern?
A quick email or phone call is often enough. This follow-up shows the team you’re engaged and helps ensure your child stays on their radar.
7. Document Everything
This step is vital. Keep a folder (physical or digital) for all things IEP: emails, meeting notes, evaluations, reports, and copies of the IEP itself. Remember, I once came to a meeting with over 10 stuffed folders of past documentations I had.
Why this matters:
- You’ll be able to refer back to past decisions or agreements
- You’ll be prepared for future meetings or disputes
- It helps you spot patterns over time
Some moms even keep a running timeline of major events in their child’s education, which can be incredibly helpful if you need to advocate for services down the line.
8. Practice Self-Care and Recovery
This is by far the MOST IMPORTANT step. IEP meetings are emotionally taxing. As autism moms, we often go into them with anxiety and leave feeling drained. Give yourself space to recover. I never used to be a reader. Personal growth and development was not in my radar -I was too busy taking care of everyone else, why does it matter if I read, journal or workout? It matters because YOU, the advocate for your child, can’t help them if you’re drained and your cortisol (the stress hormone) isn’t under control.
Ways to care for yourself:
- Go for a walk in nature
- Take a course, journal, listen to personal development
- Take a break from school talk for a day or two
- Schedule something calming—a bath, tea, meditation, time with a friend
- Use a natural supplement like USDA-certified organic hemp to support cortisol levels and your nervous system
You cannot pour from an empty cup. When you nurture yourself, you show up stronger for your child.
9. Plan for What’s Next
Although the IEP is typically reviewed annually, you don’t have to wait a whole year to request another meeting if needed. Keep a running list of things that work well or concerns that arise throughout the school year. Both at home AND in school.
Also think ahead to:
- Transitions (elementary to middle school, middle to high school)
- Summer services (ESY: Extended School Year)
- Long-term goals (life skills, job readiness, independent living)
The IEP is a living document. It should grow and change as your child grows and changes.
10. Connect with Other Autism Moms
You’re not meant to do this alone. One of the best things you can do is find a supportive community of moms who understand what you’re going through. They can offer advice, a listening ear, and encouragement when you feel overwhelmed.
Whether it’s a Facebook group, local meetup, or online forum, surrounding yourself with moms on a similar journey can make a world of difference.
Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Better Than You Think
It’s normal to second-guess yourself after an IEP meeting. But if you’re reading this, you care deeply, you’re showing up, and you’re advocating for your child with love. That is everything.
Give yourself grace. Learn as you go. And remember—your child doesn’t need perfection. They need you, just as you are.
